Ugh. I'm terrible at goodbye's and actively avoid them. It's strange because it's seems like one of those made up things "I hate goodbye's", but really, I do. Sometimes I will preempt them like - "Well, in case I don't see you...." or I'll try to smooth it over "Oh, I'll see you around - it's not really goodbye". RARELY do I give a hug - say something normal and be done with it.
Why do I bring this up? Because I've done it again. I knew it was our gorgeous Merilee's last day on Friday, but every time I thought about going up to bid farewell, I just did something else instead. By the time I was leaving, I forgot all about it and now my little gem's spot is filled by a stranger. SO - this post is ode to Mer. She has admitted to blog stalking me so I hope she's doing it now (or in the next week).
Mer - here is my completely unsolicited and most likely crappy advice to you as you embark on this wonderful journey.
#1 - Do what ever makes you feel comfortable when giving birth. Medicine or no medicine - the choice is entirely yours - do not be swayed by anyone else's opinion. If there is anything more personal, I'd like someone to tell me about it.
#2 - Before you go to the hospital, make sure your husband understands he will have to field the hospital staff while you're there. You do not need to be answering questions, dealing with forms, etc etc before. And after - I cannot tell you how many times they will wake you up just to ask what you want from the "menu". Let hubby know when you do not want to be disturbed and that he can answer things as he sees fit or they can bloody well wait.
#3 - Apply this same gatekeeper approach to family, neighbors and friends once you get home.
#4 - Once baby arrives - hold on to your hat and don't take it all too seriously. You can't mess up his life that early.
#5 - Make your own baby food.
#6 - Make your own movies for him. Forget annoying tv characters or those "brain" movies. Just take some pictures of friends and family members - close up, smiling - your pets, your neighborhood, baby's favorite toys etc, etc. Make a slide show using an online tool, then burn to dvd - you can even set it to music. Voila!
#7 - Bedtime routine. I find this to be extremely helpful. Whatever routine you chose is up to you, but the same thing happening at the same time every day will help your baby to know what is coming and will have a calming effect. I find that keeping your child "in the loop" minimizes craziness at every stage. (For instance, as you leave your house - you might say to your 2yr old "we are going to the post office, then to grandmas for snacks and then to the park") My kids liked to repeat it and check in at every stage to make sure we were on track. Knowing what was going to happen during the day made them feel calm and secure.
#8- Praise good behavior. ENTHUSIASTICALLY - ALL THE TIME! Words for your repertoire:
"Awesome" "Nice job" "Amazing!" "You are fantastic" "I love the way you...." "I am so PROUD of you!"
I say these things 500 times a day - even when it's something they have done 500 times.
#9 - Ignore bad behavior as often as possible (I don't mean hitting, I mean being annoying - you'll get what I mean in about 3 years). If you must intervene in some way - treat it like it is the most boring thing you have EVER had to deal with. Monotone, straight face, matter of fact. Give it as little attention as humanly possible. Remember: instruction is more effective than correction. Move on to something else as soon as possible.
#10 - When he turns 2 - tell him they don't make diapers for 2 year olds. You cannot buy them because they don't make them. Anywhere. Give him a MASSIVE pile of fun undies for his birthday. I am vehemently against pull ups. When he goes on the potty - please see #8. When he goes in his pants -see #9 (you can soften it up here - "no worries - you'll get it next time" and a quick clean up). I say 2 because I once read there is a weird window when potty training is easiest - it is between 22 and 24 months. You will, of course, start this whenever you see fit, but I found that window to be accurate.
Now for my final bit of advice - love him every single second of his little life. Remember that from the minute that little man is born, his mirror is your face - that is all he knows about himself. Let him see love and acceptance reflected there, always.
Mer - You are beautiful, funny, smart, not to mention stylin' and just completely LOVELY. I'm so excited for you! You will be an AMAZING mother. There is nothing in the world more important, more difficult, more rewarding, more....more. :)
Don't be a stranger.
