I'm here to cry to you, dear reader. I have exhausted all sympathy from my friends, family and colleagues, but I'm not finished. So, if you think the follwing will provide entertainment, interesting facts or even a picture - stop reading now. This is nothing but me indulging myself.
Woe is me. I have had THE worst week. Worst. I'm not exactly sure why, although Jeff says I called it on Sunday so I guess I knew then. Work is obviously a main reason - too much work is no fun and that is exactly what I have had for the last three weeks.
For some people - they just do it, feel tired and know that "this too will pass". Jeff is like that - he doesn't EVER complain about work. He is the hardest working person I know and I always appreciate the work ethic he is surely instilling in our kids. Me...not so much. I cry, I whine, I do my Martyr bit so well it could be on Broadway. I can't help it!
Don't get me wrong, I love to work. I have ALWAYS loved the professional life. I dreamed of having my own office and being one of the few women in a corporate board meeting when I was just a kid. I love that my dreams have pretty much come true and I am proud of myself. Usually, I revel in being busy, juggling it all, running from place to place with backpacks and lunchboxes in one hand, coffee and exhibit binders in the other. I feel smart and successful - not to mention hot because what's not hot about a business woman!?
HOWEVER...this week...I feel weak and lame and exhausted. I have cried in my car three times and my office once. Yes, I have PMS - so let's give that bitch her credit. 50% of it is probably related to that. It's the other 50% I'm worried about. I need to handle it better. I need to get my balance back and not feel so.....overworked. I don't want to be tired when I get home. I mean, my boss doesn't have to hear about my kids, why should my kids have to hear about work?
Another reason for my crappy week is our upcoming vacation - yes, it seems strange to be stressed about a vacation, but I am. I worry about leaving our pets with the sitter, I worry about driving so far and if we will make it safely to our destination and home again. I worry about all the work I will have when I come back, and all the work I should be doing instead of vacationing.
Yet another reason is my feeling of disconnectedness from my friends. I have noted several times on this blog how I feel about my friends. I treasure them, I need them and when I don't see them, I feel that void. Being with my friends makes me laugh, helps me regenerate and put things in perspective but most of all, it makes me grateful and I LOVE things/people that make me grateful. Being busy means cutting that time out. Any extra time I have - I want to be with my family first- so when I have no time, I have no time for friends. I hate that!
I won't even go into the fact that my workout right now consists of 20 push ups here and there while my door is closed. We all know that exercise makes us feel happier, so I'm sure I'm feeling that deficit of endorphins as well.
So....point. Yes...is there a point? No. Sometimes if I'm feeling funky..I just have to write it down to figure out what's causing it. Seeing it all in words makes it...quieter. Looking this over, I see that the problems are nothing special and the solution is pretty simple:
Breathe....relax....don't take life so seriously and, of course, remember what is REALLY important. My home is safe and cozy, my kids are happy and healthy, my husband is freakin hot - sorry - my husband loves me, and I don't have to be Superwoman.
Thanks! :)
